This is why I love blogging. When something is bugging me, I can usually work it out by blogging about it. This weeks obsession has been my age. And I couldn’t figure out why. Until now of course.
Friday the 13th was my sister Maggie’s birthday. She is third in the sibling line. Very cool person actually. A little strange in a few ways, but we love her. Yeah, I know…..I should be calling anyone strange right? And my youngest sister Dee Dee’s birthday is this coming up Friday the 20th. I can remember getting into a fight with a boy on my school bus when I was about ten, because I swore that my two sisters were born exactly a week apart. However, in my childish pursuit of being right, I neglected to add the YEAR to the week. I was totally convinced that my Mom had given birth to one sister one week, and the other one the next. That poor boy got a black eye for arguing with me over it, and I got suspended from riding the bus for a week, AND a spanking when I got home. Dee Dee is going to be 50 next Friday. That means, that all of the Jones kids will be in their 50′s. Wow. I wish Mom and Dad could have lived to see this. What a milestone. As the oldest
and totally the best looking, smartest, and nicest child, and the only writer in the brood, it’s my duty to call attention to this fact. I played hell when I turned 50. Everytime that I would call Dee Dee, she would answer the phone by screaming “Hawaii 5-0″. What a shit !!
Everyone has recieved the “forward this” kind of emails with the videos of things from the past, and how wonderful they are. I watch them and vaguely remember some of the stuff in them. They are really geared more toward folks in their late 50′s and early 60′s. Thank goodness I’m not THERE yet. But I thought that I would put together my own list of things that I remember that others might too. And the contrasts are interesting. Proving that there really are only so many ideas in the world, and each generation just re-hashes and re-packages them to fit their need. For example:
Today we have CSI Miami, New York, Las Vegas….and a milion other crime shows. When I was growing up, my Mom’s secret pleasure were the Detective magazines that I would sneak and look at. And get nightmares over.
Now there is Law and Order, Law and Order SVU, Boston Legal, LA Law (my Dad loved that one). And when we wanted to have a turn with the t.v. we had to let Dad watch Perry Mason back in the day. And Ironsides. How that old queen got TWO shows just proves that they didn’t advertise actors homosexuality back then.
There is Rachael Ray, and Chef Guy, that guy that will eat anything, and a host of cooking shows. Remember this guy? He was the only one WE called Chef.
Before Jane Fonda’s workout videos, and Suzanne Somers and Osmin and all of those other fitness gurus, there was Jack LaLanne. All he ever used as a piece of exercise equipment was a chair. My Mom used to watch him and try some of the moves. I just watched to see his two white German Shepards.
And of course, the Reality Shows are off the charts now. When I was a kid, the closest thing you got to a reality show was:
Marlin Perkins and the “Mutual Of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom” Even then, I thought it was odd how his partner Jim Fowler always got stuck doing the dangerous stuff, while Marlin would MAYBE help pull him out of a mud hole from time to time.
Social Media was the Church Bulletin. Everyone checked to see what was going on for the rest of the week. Us Catholics couldn’t miss out on a festival. There was sure to be beer there.
Nobody would have known what in the hell you were talking about if you said GPS. If you needed directions, you asked the guy here:
And you didn’t have to “friend” anybody so that you could earn points to get things cheaper. You saved these: And licked and stuck them into books that you turned in. This was how I got my first set of beaters and a toaster. My Mom had saved these and cashed them in at the S& H redemption center. And she would save the tickets that she got in her carton of cigs for other stuff.
So, now that all of us are in our 50′s, and there are grandkids, and one great grandbaby…..I wonder if my brother and two sisters are feeling a little bit of age creeping up on them too. I hope so. Pass the Ginko Biloba please !
And today’s Bitchism: